I just came from the hospital emergency room – one of my members, who with his wife has faithfully assembled the worship bulletins at least as long as I've been near, have a heart attack this morning and the doctors have no hope that he will recover. So I went to comfort the family and pray with them and sit with him. Because he also has no cancer, it's our hope that the Lord will take him quickly and painlessly.
I have no problem with making calls like this, but I also admit that this is one part of the pastoral ministry that I will be happy to leave behind. I can remember when I was a young pastor, this sort of thing didn't bother me in the least (probably because I thought death was so far away from me, personally). But in the last few years it bothers me quite a bit – to see friends die, to be 'helpless' in the face of death, all of this I've experienced for 34 years – but it's starting to hurt, emotionally, a lot more now.
My oldest son, when he was on vicarage, told me he was surprised at how much pastors have to deal with death. I hadn't thought about it at the time, because as preachers we focus on the resurrection and on that denial of death that we find in Jesus, but it's true – we preachers do have a lot to do with death. And it's getting to the point that I will be very happy to leave that behind.
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